


You Idiot!

by EstelleDusk



Category: Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Nearly everyone dies either physically or emotionally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:24:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstelleDusk/pseuds/EstelleDusk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She drank the potion, she's living her happily ever after with her immortal lover. Only...some parts of it keep reminding her that it's not the happiest life. And of course, he takes it upon himself to try and fix things, with a drastic change. /Ignores XC, Kimiko 1st Person POV, Chamiko</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wait No!

**Author's Note:**

> So, uhh, mi corazón started playing a song you guys may or may not recognize. The exact title it goes by on Youtube, is "RWBY Theme: I Burn Extended (Roosterteeth) v2 1080p." And for some reason, that song made my mind come up with this little Chamiko idea. That song, along with uhm "Ashes to Ashes: Kaito." Which happens to be a Vocaloid song. And I'm reallllllly sorry to the Chamiko fans out there, but this Two-Shot doesn't exactly have a happy ending. On the brightside! I assume anyone that reads this has also read my Chamiko One-Shot Thank You. If you haven't...well, no need to read it, but technically this is a hyper extended Kimiko Point of View version of the last ten paragraphs. So if you read Thank You and cursed me for relegating the deaths to two short sentences, now you get a bit of an explanation about how they happened.

I was eighteen when I left behind the Xiaolin Temple. I was eighteen when I joined Chase on the Heylin side. But I was twenty when I drank the Lao Mang Long soup. I remember when Clay died a few months later, shortly after he hit the rank of Shoku Warrior.

Chase claimed that drinking the soup was a surefire way to get rid of any guilt of switching sides. And he was right. What he didn't mention was that it had no effect in removing the guilt of killing your brother. Maybe that's because Grandmaster Dashi was never a brother to Chase, but a father. And every child hates their father at least a little bit. I knew I should have asked Chase how he got over Dashi's death. But at that time, I had been too busy moping and wallowing in my own tears.

I swore to Chase that the tears weren't in honor of Clay's death, but in happiness that one obstacle was now gone. I don't know if he believed me, but a week after Clay's death, I found the tea stores filled with chamomile and lavender instead of the usual green and black. When I questioned him, he only claimed that he decided to try a new blend for a while. I tried not to smile as I made my own calming cup of tea.

On the anniversary of Dashi's death, Chase disappeared, as usual, but this time he told me where he was going. Apparently, it's a tradition for him to visit Dashi's burial place and meditate at the Xiaolin Temple. When I asked why I never saw him at the Temple unless he was robbing us back then, he grinned and asked where I was every year before, on that day. I realized that in my four years at the Temple, never once had Master Fung allowed us or Dojo to stay past sunrise. He always sent us out on some quest or errand. My thoughts must have shown on my face, because Chase nodded and said that the Xiaolin Masters are aware of the arrangement and will be expecting me to continue the tradition on the anniversary of Clay's death. It's a matter of honor, of respecting your fallen comrades and family even when you weren't on the same side anymore.

I stopped crying for Clay that day. I saved up all my tears, every year, for the one day I could mourn him freely. Raimundo and Omi never caught me, Master Fung had kept up the tradition of sending the resident monks out on random quests and errands on the anniversaries of the deaths of Clay and Grandmaster Dashi. Years would pass by before my mourning was interrupted. Apparently Dojo thought that day was the best day to talk to me without a fight of any kind. He told me that one of the boys would reach Dragon soon, within the year. I put back on the mask I had began to wear in the presence of anyone besides Chase. I thanked Dojo for the information, told him to pass along my congratulations when one of them finally rose to Dragon, promised to congratulate the future Dragon properly when it happened, cut my mourning short, and disappeared back to the citadel I've called home since I went away with Chase.

Though I had stopped aging, I knew I was twenty-eight when Raimundo became the newest Xiaolin Dragon of Wind. Chase joked that now I could stop counting my age. I didn't ask what he meant. When I thought about how old Chase must have been when he turned Heylin...and how old Master Monk Guan appeared to be despite his age...the answer became obvious. When Chase had first turned, he was years younger than Guan, and he would have remained his age even if he had become a Xiaolin Dragon instead of a Heylin Dragon. But Guan...he would always be older in appearance. Chase must have anxiously counted the years between his becoming Heylin, and Guan's becoming Dragon.

I realized that I had been doing the same. My birthday cake every year had my real age on it. I kept a calendar with the current year largely printed all over it. Subconsciously, I had been waiting for this. For Raimundo, preferably, to become ageless, but not too long after me. I wanted us to remain more or less the same age. I didn't want to have to fight my old friends...when they were old and grey. I wanted them to remain in the prime of their youth. It would be almost sad to see them old again, and know that this time, it was permanent.

Now I realized why Chase didn't like bringing up the alternate universe where Jack ruled the world and Omi was missing. It must have been so hard for him, to see me like that. I remember I needed a hearing piece. I remember what it was like to be old and weak. Now that I know just how long he had been waiting for me to join him, all those conversations in Jack's prison cells, made more sense. His constant assertion that things would be fixed soon. His unconscious movements where he would make to grasp at his right sleeve, despite his bound arms.

Only after all the trouble with that universe, did I learn why he did that whenever something seemed to be going wrong. These past 1500 years (more like 3000 years for Mr. Addict,) Chase has had the Hoduku Mouse hidden on his person. Apparently, Grandmaster Dashi entrusted such a dangerous Shen Gong Wu, to the one person he expected to never use it. He was wrong. As it turned out, Chase used that stupid little mouse at least once a day. To the point where he was forced to take a heavy-duty sleeping potion every night.

I watched him carefully for the tiny signs of him having just used the mouse. Whenever I caught him, I would corner him and demand an explanation for why he thought it necessary to use the mouse that time. Sometimes, he would give me an answer I was satisfied with (such as coming back from a week in the future, where Spicer had let loose some ancient evil or gained control of the  _stupid_  mouse,) and other times he would give a less than satisfactory answer, (like the time he admitted to having only used the mouse to give himself more time to figure out an appropriate present for me.)

Although, the time he came back a full month just to make sure the limited edition Goo Zombies console was still in stock could be considered sweet. Since I had to leave behind my Daddy when I joined the Heylin. The Press couldn't learn that the Tohomiko Heiress was now immortal, they'd have a field day and all sorts of red tape would have been brought up. Officially, Kimiko Young nee Tohomiko was dead, and her husband a widower. Daddy knew better. So did anyone ever involved in the never-ending Xiaolin-Heylin War.

That was back when Chase would often and casually mentioned how much he would love to help me raise "little hellions." His opinion of what any child of ours would be like, stuck until the day we found out how impossible it seemed for me to get pregnant.

I was a hundred and twenty exactly, a century after drinking the soup. For the previous fifty years, we had tried every night to conceive. We had even asked Jack Spicer and his descendants to help us. Nothing seemed to work, we had nearly given up. Then Chase woke me up with a few licks to my abdomen. I questioned him. For a while, he didn't speak. He just licked me and pressed an ear close to my stomach. Sometimes, he'd press his nose there. Eventually, after what seemed like hours, he stopped acting weird and pulled me into one of the tightest hugs ever. When he finally spoke, he whispered, almost afraid that speaking any louder would somehow break the dream we seemed to be in.

I was pregnant. We'd be having a little Aiko or a Lihwa! Or maybe a Huan or Daichi? Qing and Kaede were our fall-back names at the time. We had a century to think about names, we were so hopeful that it would eventually happen, and then it did.

We were very careful. We told no one. When we met with Jack's granddaughter, the latest genius of the Spicer line that tried to help us conceive via science, we lied and told her we gave up. For the next few weeks, I wasn't allowed outside the citadel, but I was fine with that. I just wanted to hold our future child, so I put up with Chase's over-protectiveness.

Now I realize how much of an idiot I was, thinking we could hide it like that. Sure, it was a marvelous idea! Hide away the pregnant Heylin Dragoness for nine months or however long it took considering my biology was changed when I drank the soup. I was part dragon now. Actual dragon. It wasn't just a title anymore. And while doing that, completely and utterly forget that the Xiaolin Dragons had a pet dragon of their own that they could ask questions of. Oh, and also don't forget how dimwitted we were to trust a Spicer! Much less a Spicer with a bratty kid brother who was quite good at hacking computers. All Spicers are known for nowadays are their genius and tendency to switch sides at the least opportune of times.

Apparently the possible birth of the first Immortal in a heck of long time was cause for the littlest Spicer to go crying to the Xiaolin. And Dojo, oh, Dojo...why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut? Thank you, for telling _everyone_  about the mating habits of dragons. Oh, and for mentioning the fact that I can only get pregnant every century, and that's if I'm lucky.  _Gah!_  I know I never would have said this a few hundred years ago when I was still Xiaolin, but Dojo, I am  _so_  glad you're dead now. You cost me my first child with your big mouth. You scared everyone at the Temple into thinking my innocent baby would bring down fiery rain and brimstone. Okay, maybe she would have eventually done that, but not for a few centuries at least. An Immortal family means a longer childhood and more time under Mama's wing.

But at that time, I didn't say any of that, much less think it. I was still a little bit Xiaolin at that time. Until Raimundo set a trap that I was stupid enough to fall for. I was three months pregnant then, and started attending Showdowns with Chase again since everyone and their mother knew about our baby.

It seemed to be an easy win. Grab the Shen Gong Wu while my old friends fought Chase. I should have expected something like that, Rai. Ring of Nine Dragons and the Shroud of Shadows to hide your clone by the Wu I went after. And the Showdown you called! For sanity's sake! Why would you risk your life just to make sure the life growing in me wouldn't see daylight? And worse, you made Chase watch, unable to do anything because Omi had tied him up with the Lasso Boa Boa the instant he became distracted when he heard you call for a Showdown.

I thought you guys were supposed to be the good guys. Did all morality fall downhill when I left? First, you caused Clay's death by thinking that just because you were all Shoku Warriors, you could take us on and win. Then this? Rai...you are a terrible leader. I did what I had to to survive the idiotic Showdown you called. I knew I shouldn't mourn you, but I still did. I mourned you. And I mourned my child. That was the one fatal strike you hit against me and Chase. And you paid for it. In blood.

The last bit of Xiaolin left me that day. I no longer called any of you my brothers. You were, and forever are, my enemies. Clay was no longer my dead big brother, just a dead enemy. You, Rai, were no longer something that could have been, you were the murderer of my baby and you were thankfully dead. Omi was no longer the cute little brother, he was an accomplice in murder. Dojo most of all, he was no longer a friend, he was the reason you all saw it fit from that day on to make sure I never carried to term.

I admit, knowing where he's been, I was a bit hesitant when Chase served him to me on my two-hundred and nineteenth year. But he ended up tasting good, might have been all that fat. Chase refused to have a bite, said he preferred lean meats and didn't want to intrude on my vengeance. It made me wonder why he almost ate Dojo all those years ago when we first met. I asked him so, he admitted with a grin that he had never actually planned to eat his once-friend, but instead used him as a method to meet us, and especially me.

I wasn't sure when exactly Guan died. I knew it was around then. The idea the Xiaolin had, seemed to be to keep us apart for as long as possible to prevent conception. It ended up working, as a few years later, when we realized my chance of getting pregnant that century slipped away without notice, Chase regaled me with tales of all the embarrassing ways he met me and the Xiaolin Monks before he would use the Hoduku Mouse to reset time and get back to setting up his perfect introduction to us. He tried to cheer me up that way. And I did giggle when he told me how my fourteen-year old self had apparently been too busy  _noticing_  him to realize he was evil. Through my giggles, I asked why he didn't just let that time-line happen since I was obviously enamored with him even then. His blush was so cute when he admitted he would have rathered I been older when I first showed interest in him.

Eventually, I hit three-hundred and twenty. And I was waiting to see what Omi would come up with for this century. I knew he was still around. I saw him just a few weeks. He brought the newest Xiaolin recruits to the warfront. The oldest was a Spicer. A future Dragon of Water, Chase claimed. Even now, I found that funny. Jack must have been rolling in his grave. A descendent of his, a Dragon of Water, found out because technology would get mysteriously wet when the boy got angry.

I noticed how in the past few hundred years, either all the new recruits would be boys, or there would only be three boys. About a week ago, I asked Chase about it. He seemed reluctant, but he eventually answered. Apparently, ever since Chase became Heylin, there has only ever been one female training at the Xiaolin Temple, and that was me. He suspected that when I turned Heylin, that was all the motivation the Masters needed to once more ban women from joining the Temple, whether or not they were Xiaolin Dragon material. I told him how sad that made me, and he said he would seek out the left-behind monk and bring her to join us.

When Chase finally returned, newest Heylin recruit in tow, I had already been fighting Omi for a few days. Yesterday, as I fought, I realized something which made me fight even harder. There was a slight difference in scent. So slight, I normally wouldn't have caught it. But I had been waiting for that scent for so long, I knew it by heart. There was a lull in my fight with Omi, and Chase took advantage of that and stopped the fight right then and there. He sent his beloved Jungle Cats over to hold Omi down, while he came to my aid.

He gently lifted me from where I collapsed. I almost couldn't hide my excitement, I almost told him the news right then and there. If it weren't for the kiss he gave me. It was long. It was sad. I could feel his sorrow, and when he pulled away, there were tears in his eyes as his left hand went for his right sleeve. I began to panic and tried to get words out, but they seemed stuck in my throat.

_No! Don't do this Chase! I'm happy, really!_

He let go of him, let me stand on my own two wobbly legs as he reached for the  _stupid, stupid_  mouse. "At least we never had children. It would kill me to know I stopped them from existing. Hoduku Mouse!"

I reached for him, despite knowing I wouldn't be able to stop him.

_You idiot! I'm pregnant!_

My fingertips touched the edge of his sleeve, and I hoped it would be enough.


	2. You Idiot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a pretty picture for the story, I'm just not sure how to show it...

It turns out to have been enough.

I recognize the pull in my gut as the same one that would normally happen whenever I held onto Chase when he uses the  _stupid_  mouse. A blink. And I was back to the beginning. As I look around and realize exactly  _when_  he brought us to, I'm torn between yelling at him and thanking him. Instead, I look inside myself and bring forth the scared little girl I once was and call his name in as confused a tone as I can manage.

Today is the day I chose to go with him. If I had been my regular eighteen year old self again (if I could just remember how I acted back then!) I know I would at least still have memories of my first few months with Chase. My younger self would have been happy with that and gone on her way. Taken her happy memories of Chase and just ran as soon as she recognized the signs of him having used the Hoduku Mouse.

But I'm not her anymore. I haven't been her for centuries. How does Chase do this every day? My mind...it's bursting with what should have happened instead of what has happened so far. I have half a mind to demand an explanation from him right then and there. But then I remember something. His assurance of what a wonderful Heylin Empress I would make remind me that we had an audience that day.

Darn it, who was it? It wasn't the monks, I know that for sure. Their reactions the next morning when Chase and I visited the Temple after they spent half the night looking for me, told me they never discovered where I went. Spicer and Wuya had been equally surprised when they dropped by the citadel a few days later to find me in his lap and the both of us dozing off. Which leaves...Hannibal Bean! Ugh, I nearly forgot that that legume was still around in this time-line.

Chase and I spent the first fifty years of my immortality constantly trapping him back in the Ying Yang World before both sides teamed together to kill him for good. So, the bean is watching us, which means I can't just ask Chase why he's such an idiot that he couldn't use his stupid nose before using the even more stupid mouse. I can't ask him anything or even let in on the fact that I was not innocent little Kimiko Tohomiko, but his presently very angry wife of 300 years. I need to find a way to get him completely alone first and make sure no one can hear us.

Until then, I need to be (ugh) Xiaolin, again. Mustering up as much of my former self as I could, I take a deep breath and ask Chase what would happen is I chose not to drink the soup or join him. I would rather do both right now, but I need to plan first. I need to figure out exactly why he thought it was a bright idea to turn back the clock. He could have just killed Omi during the lull in the fight. Then I could have told him about the baby. We could have raised her...or him. I don't care what gender it would have turned out, I just wanted the little one I had been waiting centuries for, to finally appear.

Maybe it's because I spent 300 years with him, or maybe he's just always been a terrible liar. I just know that his answer to my question, his claim that he would show me no mercy, was a complete and utter lie. I think part of him realizes that I know it's a lie. Why else would he refuse to face me? He's keeping his back to me. He's keeping the soup between us. He's trying too hard to play his part. And it's aggravating me to no end!

I know a bit of my rage is probably showing on my face, so I turn away from him, say goodbye, thank him for the memories, and walk away. I'll play my part. It will take a while to get back into the swing of things and remember what it's like to be Xiaolin again. I'll have to spend a while meditating, mentally separating what has happened in one time-line, from what is happening in this time-line. I'll need to remember the moves I used when I was still a Xiaolin monk.

Argh! Chase! When I get you alone, I'm going to slap you silly before I have you explain yourself. Then you're sleeping with your precious cats for a couple years until I think you've learned your lesson.

A nearby whimper makes me realize that I'm back at the Xiaolin Temple and have scared the Dragon Apprentices (no! Brothers! I have to think of them as brothers again!) with my barely contained rage at Chase. I take a few deep breaths and calm myself before smiling at them all in turn, and apologizing for scaring them.

The accomplice to murder (Omi! Sweet, innocent, slightly annoying Omi who always gets slang wrong and is like a little brother) is the first to speak. He asks if I'm on my monthly killing spree that his beloved Ancient Guide to Females book mentions a few times. I smirk at that. Of all the things for that book to even slightly get right...

The dead brother-turned-enemy (Clay! Big brother Clay with his love of his Texas, red meats, ten-gallon hat, and sayings that make no sense) is quick to defend the littlest of the group. In neutral terms, he asks what made me so angry and where I was since Rai had woken up and found me missing. He also says that they were about to go to Master Fung if I didn't turn up soon, which I did.

Oh, Master Fung! I know that if you had still been around when I hit my first century of immortality, you would have stopped them. You were always the voice of reason. And as I found out, it was you who fought the other Masters so hard for me to join the Temple. You vouched for me. And even refused to teach the others if I wasn't also your student. You threatened to run away with Omi if the Masters refused me like they did to all the female Dragon Apprentices before me. The one thing I wish I could change about what happened in the time-line I just came from, I wish you hadn't been exiled when I turned Heylin. This time, when I go back to Chase, I'll first make sure you'll be taken care of, even if you refuse my help.

I flinch when the murderer (Raimundo! If Chase had never existed, we could have been, but now he's a  _brother_  as well!) pokes me, making me realize I became lost in my thoughts, and the boys were still waiting for an answer. I'm about to brush off their concerns when I realize how Chase kept sane through all these centuries of using that  _stupid_  mouse. I don't know why it didn't hit me earlier. I used to laugh at Chase's Jungle Cats when they came to me, begging for some love and attention that didn't include any rants about my day.

Rosella in particular, I remember that adorable tigress would be dragged away for a few hours by Chase shortly after he returned with the Hoduku Mouse and how she would beg with her eyes for me to steal her away and keep her from having to listen to a temperamental and highly emotional Heylin Dragon go on about how he most recently used the mouse to fix things. Considering she's the one that made his potions and needed to listen to him so that she knew how much to give him when he went to bed, I never did do as she asked. But I did make sure she got extra sausages after particularly bad days.

I may not presently have eternally loyal cats to listen to me rant, but I do have...brothers. What better way to get back into the Xiaolin swing of things? I take a deep breath and tell the boys that I had a nightmare I was trying to get out of mind with a walk, and that the walk didn't work. I tell them, that I'll tell them what the nightmare was about as long as they swear not to breath a word of it to anyone, not Master Fung, not Dojo, and especially not Chase Young. They're curious, what kind of "nightmare" could I have had, they wonder aloud. But they soon all make their promises.

Omi (remember, little brother) swears on his word and honor as a Xiaolin Monk, and I know that he'll keep it. After all, that's what got him in that trouble with Chase a while back. Clay (big brother once more) swears by scout's honor, and despite the fact that I know he's never been a boy scout, I believe him. Whenever I imagine a boy scout, he's what I picture. Rai (not a murderer, not in this time-line) tries to swear by the same way, but stops mid-sentence when he realizes none of us, least of all, me, is buying it.

I can't help the venom in my voice when I  _ask_  that he swear on his teddy bear that I've forgotten the name of after all these years. It had still been around when I was a hundred and fifty, until I got a hold of it one year on Rai's anniversary of his death and decided to burn it. I know Chase sent the ashes back to the Temple, with a little warning that Omi and Guan better not follow the Dragon of Wind's footsteps, or else they would join him.

Either way, now he realizes how serious I'm being, and he swears on his bear (Ninja Fred turns out to have been it's name) the most precious thing he owned. I start speaking then, telling them of my "nightmare." I start with the fact that I'm Chase's wife and on the Heylin side. Then I stop so they can wrap their minds around that. I glare at Omi when he almost seems to yell at the news. But calmly, Clay reminds his friends that it was nothing but a dream, and obviously the idea must get under my skin too if I had to take a walk to get it out of my head. I try not to roll my eyes, really! Rolling my eyes would have let them know that I'm not their precious Kimiko anymore.

Then again...they really were idiots back then...uhh, nowadays. Geez, this is really confusing. I hope Rosella hasn't lost her head yet from trying to make sense of Chase telling her the same story. Maybe I should have looked into exactly what potion she gave my husband every night? I might need some in the future if it will help get rid of this disorientation...

I spend the night telling them about the past three centuries for me. Rai's face is priceless when I reach the end and casually mention how the only good thing in the entire "dream" had been the late night "sparring" between Chase and I. Of course I keep the story PG for Omi's sake, I don't want to have to be the one to explain reproduction to him, but Rai and Clay catch what I mean, and gratefully, don't correct Omi when he childishly adds his two cents. Saying there is no shame in enjoying a good spar with a worthy opponent, before he sheepishly admits that he still occasionally spars with Chase for fun when there's a lull in the eternal battle.

Clay and Rai of course have something to say about Omi going behind their backs and going to see Chase, almost as a friend. But I already knew all about it considering Omi interrupted one of my dates with Chase, but I was able to hide away quick enough that he never noticed me. Officially, I wouldn't know about it until another few weeks when the holidays start rolling in and Omi would feel a little left out and disappear to Chase's citadel late at night. And then I would  _accidentally_  stumble upon the mock fight and enter a fighting stance of my own, before my fiancee would interrupt me and tell Omi that he hides nothing from me, before proceeding to tell me all about Omi's habit.

But in this time-line, I'm learning about it now, so I pretend as well as I can that I'm just as shocked as the others. I then quickly feign being tired from my walk and make to head to bed before I'm enveloped in a group hug. I flinch harshly this time, and Clay (he really is a sweetie, how could I ever call him foe?) pulls his friends back as quick as he can, saying that the "nightmare" must have really gotten to me if I'm having such trouble separating dream from reality. He says he'll make sure they all give me some space for the next few days and I thank him before retreating to my old cubicle.

When I reach it, I use the black cloak I wore on Halloween as an extra curtain and hang it over the doorway. As the night wears on, and the boys slowly return to their beds and slumber, I stay awake. I toss and turn on my mat, no longer used to such flimsy bedding. My hands are clutched around my middle, grabbing at something that isn't there. And my thoughts keep returning to Chase and that oh so  _stupid_  mouse.


End file.
